Gritting my teeth...

and white-knucking it.

Apr 25, 2025

So, last Sunday, while on my computer finishing some work before leaving on a trip, two crowns fell out of my teeth. This after a fairly new crown broke in December and was replaced in January.

Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. Three crowns in four months? I’m no dummy. This was a definitely wake-up call.

I am pretty lucky where my teeth are concerned, only a few cavities, hence the crowns. I’m also lucky that my dentist took me in for emergency treatment both times and it was completely covered under the original crowns.

During my emergency visit on Monday, the dentist said I have, “a very strong bite and might want to wear my night guard in the daytime.” Whoa.

Mind you, I’m a woman who doesn’t shy away from a challenge and often happily get out of my comfort zone. I welcome the dépaysement which always results in a character building liminal transition.

"Dépaysement" is a French word that can be translated as disorientation, change of scenery, or a sense of being out of one's comfort zone.

My many teeth-clenching life moments while driving alone would challenge most people. Growing up in Chicago winters, driving in the snow is in my DNA. One time I rented a moving truck and drove furniture to my new South Lake Tahoe house, then drove back to Sacramento all by myself. Route 50 from South Lake Tahoe is a dizzying sheer mountain cliff. It was nighttime in a blizzard. I stopped at the gas station and put chains on the tires, again by myself, then headed up the pass. Fishtailing here and there, a few jerks honking as they passed me, I gripped the wheel and gritted my teeth. My good old Chicago winter driving DNA kicked in and I made it.

Just in the past two days, my husband has been driving us (on the left side of the road) all over the hurricane damaged Abaco Islands, as I grit my teeth. This isn’t my first time in a car with a man navigating potholes. An ex drove us through Costa Rica and promptly blew a tire in the cloud forest, despite being forewarned. But so far, so good, here.

When behind the wheel, I white-knuckle it and keep my eyes moving. Most recently, I rallied three girlfriends on a trip to Iceland. I rented a four-wheel-drive stick-shift SUV and drove us to all the best sites. The night we landed in Reykjavik, my bff took us on a wrong turn, in the dark, during a blizzard, but I gripped the wheel, turned us around, and got us to the Golden Circle. We had an awesome time, by the way.

But I really cut my teeth after moving to Paris in my early twenties. My eventual business partner didn’t drive, so I was the chauffeuse of the manual shift BMW 525i company car. My first time around the 12-lane Arc de Triomphe round-about, I white-knuckled it. That officially changed my DNA to Parisian driver.

But in all these years, never have I ever broken a crown in my tooth with just my “strong bite,” let-alone three crowns in four months! So here I am in the Bahamas, with two temporary molar crowns, one on either side of my mouth, learning how to chew with my front teeth so they don’t fall out. The temporary crown I had in December lasted one day. It’s been four days, so I already consider this a win.

The bottom line is, I’m finally facing anger management. Witnessing Trump trying to pull the plug on democracy (Cheat Justice Roberts put it on life-support), while married to a Reagan-era Republican, is exhausting. My anger still flares constantly. But I’m managing the arc, getting to the plateau faster, and nailing the landing.

This is a major accomplishment for me. Because, if we lose our health they win.