This can be an emotional subject, so I’m just sending it out as a big hug.
This week my new bff,
wrote a poem that beautifully expressed having a group of girlfriends. And it got me thinking.There’s something unique about having a tribe. But that’s just one kind of friendship. Someone was recently quoted saying, “You only need one good friend.” That holds a lot of truth and comfort for me. But it’s not always easy to make new friends.
For example…
When I first moved far away from all my friends and family to Paris after college, I didn’t know one soul. It was disorienting. It took time, but working as an English teacher, a translator, and eventually starting a film company, I grew my circle.
When I moved my mom from Chicago to Palm Desert about 10 years ago, she left her BFF behind and really struggled with loneliness. I encouraged her to reach out to others in the lovely over-55 community I had settled her in. She resisted, which I understand. It’s politically right leaning (yes, yuck), so she had a lot of false starts. But joining the local Democratic group, and sharing her musical talent and art finally helped find her tribe.
After spending half the year at our Northern Idaho summer place for the past 10 years, I realized I had not made even ONE friend. That’s highly unusual for me. Our place is on a lovely golf course, but it is in Hayden Lake, literally the Aryan Nation hub. So I kept my head down (which is good for my golf game) and spent my time working and writing. Finally, a neighbor found me on Twitter and I realized she was a fellow Blue Dot and I now consider her one of my dearest friends.
Speaking of Twitter, I’m amazed how many friends I have made over the past years through the Resistance. More recently, thanks to the heroic, generous, and supportive E. Jean Carroll, I was encouraged to join Substack and have found another amazing tribe or Conflab.
All this to say, making friends is both an art and a numbers game. How do you meet new people? Have you struggled making new friends? Is it hard to put yourself out there?
Me yesterday with my volleyball tribe who threw an early celebration of my Beddian birthday on May 25th. They bring me so much joy and laughter.
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This morning I had fun trying to make latte art (and a chocolate mess), while thinking of my new feisty fabulous friend
who created this charming cup art 🤎🤎![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_720,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3733d11c-f7ab-4fb2-8e40-a92eac69a94c_3995x5327.jpeg)
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🥰 Sending you all virtual hugs 🥰
May you have one good friend you can be a goofball with.
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Sometimes, being silly with a friend is the best therapy. ~ Minions
Beautiful friendships are therapy and joy. The older a person gets, it’s harder when your bff’s die off. Trusting “new” people is challenging not just for political reasons 😝, but it only takes one to make life fun again. My husband is my bff❤️
🥰
Lorriane, you had me hook, line, and sinker the moment you let loose a torrent of colorful language on Substack. It was like watching a sailor with Tourette's recite Shakespeare - equal parts shocking and impressive!
Forging friendships is a wild ride, I tell ya. It's a crazy cocktail of finesse, fortune, and sheer stubbornness. Imagine tossing a plate of mom's spaghetti at the wall, crossing your fingers, and praying to the Flying Spaghetti Monster that a couple of noodles will cling on for dear life. I've been there, done that, and got the sauce-stained t-shirt! I've dived headfirst into the most peculiar pastime gatherings (who would've thought Underwater Basket Weaving was actually a thing?), and I've even resorted to babbling incoherently at my coffee slinger (trust me, you CAN form lifelong bonds over the intricate art of steamed milk). Oh, and let's not forget the time I accidentally gate-crashed a book club meeting and stayed for the free grub. Talk about awkward! But hey, sometimes the most bizarre attempts lead to the most incredible friendships.
I like to think of my real-life and Substack pals as co-stars in the same film noir adventure I'm living. We're all just a bunch of misfits trying to navigate this crazy world, seeking solace and companionship in the midst of the chaos. It's like we're in this together, starring in our very own movie: "Love, Laughs, and Lunacy in the Time of Chaos." Because at the end of the day, we're all just looking for a partner in crime and a port in the storm, even if we have to wade through a sea of expletives to find 'em!
Love ya! Mean it. 🩷🩷🩷🩷